ronin zhaodai

Trying something new ...

2006-09-03T08:54:00.000-07:00

So I am going to try something new today ... Due to work schedules and travel and the birth of my Baby Girl(!) I have gotten out of a lot of my good routines and I need to get back into them (believe it or not, it has had a marked change upon my life without them!) ... this is (theoretically) where I will be able to do this all at ... or at least maybe vent and keep track of a few things ... it won't be as fancy as Sabbath or Liberty's (frankly, I'm not fancy ... or as cool as they are, so this works for me!).
So I am getting way off track here (which happens to me a lot, believe it or not!) ... nevertheless, life is getting back into some semblance of a routine - complete with days off and other such whatnotandtheother ... even D&D has started again. I have started my simple meditations again, and am really starting to feel better about life.
Well, I should wrap this up ... take care of yourself Koul.

Namaste.

Long time, no post!

2006-05-27T10:26:00.000-07:00

Hey, so I am really bad with this whole 'blogging' thing ... guess that goes to show you how much I am really out on the internet nowadays!! But, instead of a rant about Tom Cruise (see previous post ... and frankly, I still think he is a joke), I have something that was shown to me by Liberty (my sister-in-law, for those of you not paying attention!) last night ...
She really digs a French author by the name of Bernard-Henri Levy (don't judge him because he is French!) who (a couple of years ago) travelled the USA and then wrote a book about it. The book's title - American Vertigo: Traveling America in the Footsteps of Tocqueville ... In thumbing through this book last night, I noticed one of the chapters mentioned Des Moines, IA (a city I twice called home) ... but more importantly (to me, at least) was the passage below:

The Sense of the Tragic, Knoxville Style

They give me, at the Hotel Fort Des Moines, the room that's reserved, eight days from now, for John Kerry.

I write down this detail because it's the first thing the receptionist tells me as I'm registering.
Better than that, they've taken care to display on my night table, next to a framed photo of the candidate playing the guitar, a plate of cheese wrapped in cellophane identical to the one that will be served to him on the evening of his arrival and, in another frame, a copy of the fax sent by his press secretary detailing his minibar preferences: "Mixed nuts; chocolate chip cookies; diet soda (preferably Diet Coke in the can); bottled water; plain M&M's (no peanuts); regular Doritos."
The craze for the relic, this time. A taste for preservation and for the museum, taken to the nth degree. No longer, as in Cooperstown, the artificial as opposed to the authentic. Nor is it as in Dearborn, where, the other day, I visited Henry Ford's Americana museum: everything that has existed will, one day or another, end up in a museum; even if it's under the heading "fake," we might as well make a museum of everything right away. But, even more striking, more extravagant: yes, everything is becoming a relic; a mere plate of cheese is becoming a museum piece, but the museum piece is a plate of cheese that has not ben eaten yet, or even served - it's a kind of antemuseum, a prerelic, an extension into the realm of memory of what has not yet taken place.
Tour of Des Moines, this city with such an odd name. "Of the Monks." Lost in the middle of nowhere, without charm, it must have been, during the time of the French, a great stopping place.
A quick visit to the Iowa State Fair, which opened this morning and which, with its life-size cow made of butter, its prize for the fattest fowl, it giant hot dogs, seems to be a festival of American kitsch.
But my real aim, what I cam here for, is Knoxville, twenty miles east, (blogger's note: Knoxville is not quite twenty miles east of Des Moines!! More like 45 miles southeast of Des Moines ... but who's really counting?) where what the Des Moines Register (which, it must be said, doesn't skimp on adjectives for the Iowa State Fair) calls "the greatest car race in the world," the Knoxville Nationals, is beginning its forty-fourth running.
WELCOME TO KNOXVILLE, says a little road sign. Right next to it, on another, larger sign, are written the names of all the churches in town, most of them evanglical. then, at the end of a complex of warehouses that contain the drivers' pits along with pizzerias and stands selling hamburgers, T-shirts, and French friees, is another Hall of Fame, where spectators are lining up; this is, in effect, another church, where the names of the greatest drivers - A.J. Foyt, Jr., Mario Andretti, Karl Kinser - are venerated. And then, finally, the oval track, surrounded by stands full to the brim but surprisingly quite: fove or six thousand people are there, mostly white, wearing shorts, cowboy hats or hunters' caps, and paid shirts. It's a while before I realize that they're so quite, so far from the European image of wild crowds of fans, because ... they're praying.
Taking a closer look, I see that the drivers, too, are praying. There are about a hundered of them in the cenral part of the oval, gathered in groups in which one can make out, despite the distance, a sort of subtle hierarchy of allegiances and merits. They have ebraced their families. Exchanged a few last words with their managers. Thanked the "dirt crews," those paid volunteers who came from all over the country for the honor of riding around the track in their pickup trucks serveral hours before the race in order to pack down the sacred ground and give it good traction. The race drivers are getting ready to climb into their cars, built to their size and almost molded to their bodies; topped with the two airfoils that are meant to keep them on the ground; heads in helmets. helmets attached to the seats, so that the drivers, however often they roll over, will still be one with their machines.Perhaps, at that instant, the most superstitious among them have one final thought for the martyr Mark Wilson. who died in a crash here in 2001. And so they pray.
When, after the final parade, the contest actually begins; when, after they've turned and turned again around the track like Achilles and Hector before the ramparts of Troy, the heroes really speed up in earnest, in bunches of eight or ten, in a deafening, hellish roar; when the real champions detach themselves and, with the crowd holding its breath, confront one another in a swift and violent duel that that never lasts more than a few dozen seconds, the match takes on the feeling of a joust, an ordeal, an epic and merciless tournament. And then one senses that it is death that's leading the dance - one senses that the drivers are taking all the risks and that the spectators, excited but still silent, deep down, both dread and hope for an accident. Theater of cruelty. Waiting, as in duels or at public executions, for the moment of first blood. This ferocity, this violence, which had been commonplace in American society but which has been on the whole eliminated over the centuries and to which it yields nowadays only through marginal ceremonies like this one. Knoxville, or the memory of the accursed share of the American past.

So that is that ... an interesting outsider's perspective into the world that surrounds my hometown and its epic annual event ... a little condescending at times, but all in all kinda cool. Not often that the Nationals get this kind of attention from a French author who is touring the country in search of ... well, I don't know what.
And for more: http://www.tocqueville.org/

Take care everyone.

Now listening: 'The Smoothie Song' - Nickel Creek (103.7 KMTT)

What is Tom Cruise's Problem?

2006-03-17T23:55:00.000-08:00

Is he really THAT insecure about his 'religion' of choice? And what is with Isaac Hayes now? The more I read about Scientology, the more issues I find I have with it. As a Scientologist, you have to pay to have testing sessions so you can 'free' yourself from the trappings of our mortal bodies. Damn those Thetans!!
But now (supposedly) Tommy Cruise is threatening Paramount to not promote MI:3 if they let an episode of South Park (featuring a HILARIOUS slam on Scientology, Tommy, John Travolta, and R. Kelly) play on Comedy Central. What kind of bullshit is that?? Tom's a punk, as is Paramount. He is replaceable in pretty much every role he has ever been in, and yet he has enough 'power' and audacity to try and pull rank ... and Paramount, lacking any kind of kahoneys, gives in without a second thought.
So what it seems we are being told is that its ok to humor Christians, Catholics, Muslims, Jews, racists, gays, blacks, whites, Asians, men, women, the handicapped, rednecks, Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden, Sally Struthers, Republicans, Democrats, and Hollywood ... oh yeah, and Mel Gibson, too. But a parody of Scientology crosses the line? What kind of bullshit is that?
Tom Cruise - you are a punk ... Isaac Hayes - your excuse is just sad and pathetic. Grow some balls, y'all. There is way too much power in way too few hands. It's really really sad.

Remember remember ...

On another, much happier note - Sabbath and I are nearing the end of week 24! 6 months down, roughly 3 1/2 to go!! Some days I still can't believe that we have a baby on the way! Our first and I am definitely excited!
Well, it is late, and Gaffigan's on the tube ... time for sleep.

Namaste.

Another Friday ...

2006-01-27T09:05:00.000-08:00

Well well well ... once again, another week has passed and I haven't updated this since the end of November ... go fig. I am really bad about that, ya know? But with so many other important things going on in my life, blogging tends to take a back seat.
Things have been, well, eventful at home and work ... after a tame holiday season (people just not coming out to the mall as much this year), things are slowing down at work ... to the point that the company filed for Chapter 11 protection. Go figure. With so many outlets to find music and movies nowadays, who is surprised? Not I. But we are still doing well in Tacoma, and that is what is important for the moment. Impact what you can, right?
BABYWATCH 2006 ...
Yes folks, we are inching ever closer to the momentous day ... in about 2-3 weeks, Sabbath and I will find out if it will be an Eamonn or an Autumn ;). Ya know, either way, I am stoked. Everyone keeps asking "Do you want a boy or a girl??" and ya know, I don't really care. There are big plusses for either ... I just want my baby to be healthy. We 'passed' the triple screen, so things are looking much better on the health front.

On other fronts, things at home, otherwise, are their usual - slowly frenetic. Spent most of the day yesterday plopped on the couch, playing Madden '05 and Star Wars Knights 2 ... the only time I did not was when we took Scarlet (our sugar glider) to the vet - she had what we thought was an eye infection, though it now appears to be just an abcess. Phew! The doc did 'warn' us before he examined her that it could be a tumor ... that would have been quite heartbreaking. Thankfully it is nothing too bad, just a little medicine for the squirrel (which is a feat in itself to get her to take it!) and some new goodies for her on the way.
Sabbath spent most of the day yesterday working on her 2 blogs - 1 that is hers (see the link to the right) and 1 for 'Baby Davies' (http://babydavies.blogspot.com ... I think!).
Well, I should do something more productive and worklike ... since I am at work ... just wish this damn shipment would arrive!! GRRRRR!

Now Playing: Jack Johnson (mix MD)

the Holiday Spirit

2005-11-28T10:39:00.000-08:00

Is out in full force today! Not only have we had people hounding us since last Tuesday for the Xbox 360, but I just had a guy walk into my store and get all the way to the back (walking back my humble video game section) and ask me if I have any Xbox. When I tell him no, he turns around and walks out saying "Well that's too bad for you." What the fuck does that even mean? How is that too bad for me? Because I don't get his precious business? Some people think very highly of themselves, as if the world would be lost without them. *sigh*

Now that I am done with my rant, on to other, more delightful things. We are just over a week away from our 10 week dr appointment - which should allow us to hear the heartbeat of the little baby Davies. I still can't believe we are going to have a child! Talk about a lifechanger!

Missed gaming on Friday night (coulda used that!!), but Lib wasn't feeling well and, well, I would rather her be feeling better than us playing and her not doin so good. Can't wait to play Minis on Thursday night, though. Next 2 weeks should be a blast - first a 400 point battle on Thursday (my LG band vs Steve's LG band) - a battle of dogma or something like that. ;) And then, we are starting a campaign for minis - starting at a couple of 50 point skirmishes and moving upwards from there.

Oh well, need to get back to work, lots to do, no time to do it in!

Namaste.

Anger, aggression, and pain ...

2005-11-21T09:48:00.000-08:00

are all paths to the Dark Side. We witnessed that first hand yesterday afternoon, and an angry young man fired shots here at the Tacoma Mall (where I work), and took friends of mine hostage for over 3 hours. From most reports, it sounds like he was an angry young man and was looking to have someone else solve his problems. Innocent, uninvolved people be damned. What a pathetic waste. He has damaged so many people's lives because he had some anger issues, something that was bothering him? Can I have 10 minutes alone with this guy?

So now, the day after, I am at work, and I am drained by all of this. Such a sad, sad state of affairs we are going through. But life must go on, we cannot dwell on this or let it bog us down, that is unproductive and very unhealthy. Those I know who were involved are doing alright, and I hope it stays that way.

I hope he gets the help that he obviously needs. No one's life is worth all of this heartache and trauma caused to others. So sad.

Namaste

A gloomy day

2005-08-12T09:38:00.000-07:00

Such a great day here in the Northwest ... I received a call from my sister Tonya yesterday afternoon that my uncle Gary was in the hospital in Iowa City and was not expected to make it. My mom confirmed this sad news yesterday later in the afternoon. Gary's liver and kidneys had shut down because he drank ... a lot. When I was in junior high and high school, I did a lot of work for my uncle (he ran an auto salvage yard back home), and he drank even then, but it never seemed to be THAT bad. That all seemed to go down hill when he got a DWI around my freshman year in college. He was soon divorced and in and out of rehab. Usually put there (in a drunken stupor) by my folks. Each time we hoped that he would sober up and get his shit straight. Each time he didn't want to. An addiction is something that you really have to WANT to kick.
So this morning, I get a call from my kid sister Joni, telling me that Gary finally let go overnight. With a 20% chance of survival, it was not surprising. I am still saddened by this.
It has been a horrible summer for the Lenger family ... first my cousin Andrew is murdered in Dallas, and now my uncle finally drank himself to death. They say these things come in threes, I am just hoping that the Fates are not as cruel if they make their third decision. We have had our fill of this kind of pain to last us.
I feel sad myself, though I knew this was inevitable ... but my heart goes out to my dad the most. He has been the one to try and help Gary out these past 10 years or so ... EVERY TIME. Each time that Gary got into trouble, Dad was there trying to help him get his shit together and get clean. He is still hurting from our loss of Andrew, this doesn't help any. As much as we didn't get along for the longest time, my heart goes out to him. I just hope that my energy is enough to help him when he needs it.
That is all.

Now Playing: "California" by Unified Theory

It's hot!

2005-08-04T15:27:00.000-07:00

It is hot ... damn hot! Days like these remind me of home, though not quite as hot.
Been a few days since my last post ... hell its been a few days since I was last online. ("What the f#$k is the internet?") Been working quite a bit the past week & a half - first my Assistant Manager got himself suspended and then I had the privilege to spend a couple of days in "beautiful" Eugene Oregon (Home of the Ducks) packing a store up for a remodel. And I get to go back next weekend! Sometimes, responsibility really has its strains! All in all, I don't mind though. If it means getting myself and my family into a better place, I will take the pain and grow from it.
Speaking of moving forward, my Regional Manager was in town this week, and he is happy with the way we have been doing in Tacoma - so much so that I got permission to begin working on the store remerch that isn't supposed to take place for another month or so. Should help us do even better - which is my goal.
I talk so much about work, you would think I am married to my job. Thankfully I am not. Sometimes I really wish I could do more for Sabbath. I often feel like what I am doing is not good enough for her. Not at all something she has ever said or implied, just something I feel myself. I have wondered what I can do to make her even happier ... to take away her worries. Much of that is out of my hands, but that does not stop me from thinking about it and trying to find a way to improve our lifestyle. Right now what I can do is work to get myself into a better place at work ... a better place that should have better pay. Though money does not solve problems, it can make living a little bit easier and can relieve some tensions.
Did I mention our Redneck neighbors are moving out? Joyous day! They aren't really bad people - just makes you a little nervous for their kids when you can hear them arguing ... from across the street ... while they are inside. Not a good sign.
We got a new bird this week ... and a new cage for Scarlet :). The bird's name is Flying Snow - he is a white parakeet with some grey and blue. I don't think he really trusts or likes me. That's ok, he seems to like Sabbath, which is important (esp since the other 3 animals all have bonded well to me, I don't mind).
Well, is that enough of a novelization? I am looking forward to our next campaign in the Crown of Blood (http://crownofblood.blogspot.com) ... should be a good time, no matter what Daezarkian the Dark throws at us ;p

That is all.

Now Playing : 107.7 The End > Gotta Get Away (the Offspring)

Another day

2005-07-27T18:26:00.000-07:00

Another gorgeous day in the south Sound area, and another dollar or two earned. Something that I find rather unsettling, however, is the audacity of some people in this world. Yesterday afternoon, we had a guy walk into our backroom at the store "looking for the bathroom" (as he claims). Now don't get me wrong, I am not one to deny the need to emiterate (I always wanted to say that!), but don't do it on my rug and don't just walk into my backroom and expect to walk away with product in the process! The world never ceases to amaze me - people out looking to screw someone else over to make their life a little bit easier. Lazyass bastards.
On a more positive note, I am looking forward to September, when I can begin Kendo instruction (I hope!). Will be good for the body and the soul, ya know? Help with the self-discipline, maybe provide a little clarity into myself, ya know?
My better half has been exploring the depths of Hinduism, and its relation to Wicca (a religion of interest) ... and it is starting to rub off on me now too. The belief in building, using, and releasing energy has become part of my life over the past 8 or 9 months now, and it has helped quite a bit just in keeping myself going (at work) and (in some cases) awake. Regardless of your religious affiliation, one cannot deny the presence of good positive energy ... whether it is from a drum circle or a Southern Baptist Sunday Sermon or from the peal of a gong or from closing one's eyes and listening to nature living all around. A powerful ally, the Force is. ;)

Now playing : Get Behind the Mule; Tom Waits (Mule variatons)

The First Post

2005-07-24T22:06:00.000-07:00

My first foray into the blogging world ... shall we see how it goes? Always welcome to comments in the future (if you have any comments now ... I ask you, why??) ... but for now ...

Stay tuned.